My Mountain Bike is Gathering Dust: Why “Self-Care” Can Feel Like a Chore

Aug 3

DISCLAIMER: This post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care or medical advice. Reading this does not create a therapist–client relationship. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, contact 988.

If you walked into my garage right now, you’d see my mountain bike hanging on the wall, with a bike chain that needs to be cleaned and lubricated. Before I had my 6-year-old, that bike was my sanctuary. I loved the feeling of the dirt under my tires and the focus it took to navigate a tricky descent. It was the one place where my "anxiety brain" finally went quiet.

But lately, every time I walk past it, I don’t feel excited. I feel guilty.

I think, “I should be riding more,” or “I’m so out of practice, there’s no point in going if I can’t handle the steep trails anymore.” If you’ve ever looked at your running shoes, your sketchbook, or your yoga mat and felt a sense of heavy "shoulds" instead of joy, it makes total sense. For high achievers, self-care often turns into just another task on the to-do list that we aren't doing "well enough."

Why We Turn Self-Care into Work

Many people experience this because of a thinking distortion called All-or-Nothing Thinking. This is a common pattern where we believe that if a task isn't done perfectly or completely, it doesn't count at all (Burns).

For me, if I can’t find a three-hour window to get to the trailhead, do a full ride, and drive back home, then my brain tells me the ride isn't worth doing. This is your perfectionism trying to protect you from the "failure" of an imperfect experience. We end up staying on the couch because the pressure to have a "perfect" performance or perfect hobby is too exhausting.

The Trap: Goals vs. Values

As high achievers, we are obsessed with Goals. A goal is a destination—like riding 10 miles or losing 5 pounds. The problem with goals is that once you hit them (or if you can’t reach them), the satisfaction disappears.

However, if we shift the focus to Values, things change. A value is a direction, not a destination (Harris).

The Goal: Ride a fun singletrack trail where I get to practice and improve my technical skills.
The Value: Connecting with nature and moving my body.

When I look at it through the lens of my values, a 15-minute spin around the block with my 6-year-old on their bike actually "counts." It fulfills the value of movement, even if it doesn't meet the "goal" of a mountain bike epic.

Practical Tools to Dust Off Your "Bike"

If you’re feeling the weight of "failing" at your self-care, try these small, realistic shifts:

1. The "Micro-Dose" Strategy Ask yourself: "What is the smallest possible version of this activity I can do today?" If you can't go to the gym for an hour, can you do five pushups? If you can't meditate for 20 minutes, can you take three deep breaths? Breaking the "all-or-nothing" cycle starts with proving to your brain that small wins matter (Burns).

2. Watch Out for "Should" Statements In TEAM-CBT, we notice how "Should Statements" generate a lot of unnecessary shame (Burns). When you think, "I should be doing [X]," try reframing it to: "I would like to do [X] because it makes me feel good, but it’s okay if today isn't the day."

3. Self-Compassion for the Season Remind yourself that life comes in seasons. Being a parent, a business owner, or a busy professional means your "runway" for self-care is shorter right now. This isn't a permanent failure; it’s a temporary season. Offering yourself kindness for your current capacity actually makes it easier to get back to the things you love (Neff).

A Gentle Reframe

Instead of looking at my dusty bike and thinking, "I'm failing at being an athlete," I'm practicing saying: "That bike is a reminder of a part of me I love. It’s okay that it's dusty right now. It will be there when I’m ready, and for today, a walk to the park is enough."

And all this is to say that I’m not going to give up on doing long rides. I think it’s important to make time for your full, pure, hobby. But I find the way to get me to the rides that I love so much, doing these “Micro-Dose” rides is key. The longer I don’t ride, the harder it is to get back to the flow that feels so good. If we can at least do little doses of riding, sketching, painting, soccer, dancing, etc., that will keep the dust off and help keep some momentum going.

Take the Next Step

If you’re tired of feeling like you’re failing at your own life—including your rest—you don't have to navigate that alone. I specialize in helping high achievers in Roseville, CA, and throughout California find a way to live that feels sustainable and human. Let’s work together to take the pressure off.

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About the Author

Cora Taylor, LMFT, is a California licensed therapist dedicated to helping high-functioning adults break free from panic attacks, worry loops, and sleepless nights. Utilizing active, short-term approaches like Exposure Therapy and CBT-I, she helps clients move out of survival mode and expand their comfort zones. She provides convenient virtual therapy throughout California and has limited in-person sessions available at her Roseville office.