Can’t Sleep? How Therapy Can Help You Rest Better

Dec 1

DISCLAIMER: This post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care or medical advice. Reading this does not create a therapist–client relationship. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, contact 988.

When Rest Doesn’t Come Easily

The new year is approaching, and it often inspires fresh starts — new routines, new goals, and new habits around self-care. But for many people, the one thing that feels hardest to change is sleep. Lying awake at night, replaying the day or worrying about tomorrow, can leave you exhausted before the week even begins.

Insomnia and restless sleep are incredibly common. About one in three adults experiences short-term insomnia at some point, and nearly one in ten struggles with long-term sleep difficulties (Cleveland Clinic). Poor sleep affects far more than energy — it can impact mood, focus, immunity, and physical health. Over time, lack of rest can heighten anxiety, reduce frustration tolerance, and increase symptoms of depression (National Institute of Health).

Why Sleep Problems Happen

Sleep struggles can come from many directions. Stress is one of the biggest factors — when your body stays in “fight or flight” mode, it’s difficult to relax, even when you want to. Habits like late-night screen time, irregular schedules, or caffeine also keep the nervous system alert.

Emotional factors are just as important. Anxiety and depression are closely linked to disrupted sleep; racing thoughts can keep your mind active, while low mood can affect your body’s natural sleep rhythms (Harvard Health Publishing). Over time, your brain may even start to associate bedtime with wakefulness or tension. What begins as a few difficult nights can turn into a pattern — but patterns can be changed.

The good news? The same brain that learns to stay alert at night can also relearn how to rest.

How Therapy Can Help You Sleep Better

Therapy can be a powerful tool for improving sleep, especially when insomnia is related to stress, overthinking, or emotional overwhelm. One of the most effective treatments is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) — a structured, research-supported approach that helps you change unhelpful thoughts and habits around sleep.

CBT-I can help you:

Challenge anxious nighttime thoughts like “What if I can’t function tomorrow?”
Reset your sleep schedule by pairing your bed only with rest — not worry or frustration
Build calming routines that help your nervous system wind down
Reduce clock-watching, rumination, and sleep-related anxiety

Decades of research show that CBT-I is more effective than sleep medication — and its benefits last much longer (Carney et al.). Studies also show that CBT-I helps reduce anxiety symptoms in people who experience both insomnia and generalized anxiety disorder (Lau et al.).

Some studies even show that CBT-I can reduce symptoms of depression — especially when sleep problems are part of the picture (Peoples et al.). When sleep stabilizes, emotional well-being often follows.

Practical Tips for Calming the Mind at Night

If you’re trying to improve your sleep, start with small, steady steps:

Build your sleep drive. Dr. Colleen Carney compares your sleep drive to a balloon: it needs to be really full of “air” to help you fall asleep easily. When you let go of the balloon, we want that big “whoosh” of air as it deflates. Napping, lounging, or staying in bed when you’re awake keeps the balloon under-filled. To build strong sleep pressure, get out of bed when you’re not sleeping and stay active during the day. Just like kids sleep better after being active, adults do too.
Keep a regular sleep schedule, even on weekends. Consistency helps regulate your circadian rhythm.
Wind down before bed by dimming lights, stretching, journaling, or listening to calming sounds.
Avoid caffeine in the late afternoon and evening (Mayo Clinic).
If you can’t sleep after about 20 minutes, get up and do something relaxing — like reading or slow breathing — instead of lying in bed frustrated. This helps retrain your brain to associate bed with rest, not stress (National Institutes of Health).

Most importantly, treat yourself with compassion. Struggling with sleep does not mean you’re failing — it means your mind and body are asking for support in a world that doesn’t always make slowing down easy.

Finding Support for Better Rest

If you want to start with some self-guided resources, I recommend starting with this book:

Goodnight Mind: Turn Off Your Noisy Thoughts and Get a Good Night’s Sleep, by Dr. Colleen E. Carney, PhD. & Dr. Rachel Manber, PhD.

If you’ve been struggling with insomnia, racing thoughts, or difficulty winding down, and want more than just a self-help book, therapy can help you understand what’s keeping your body in alert mode — and give you the support to retrain it to rest again.

I offer virtual therapy for adults anywhere in California and in-person sessions in Roseville, CA, supporting clients who want to manage anxiety, improve sleep, and find more balance in their daily lives.

Please use the links above to directly book a free consultation call, or click on ‘Contact Me’ to go to my contact page where you can fill out a form and I’ll get back to you within 48 business hours.

[Schedule a free consultation] [Contact Me]

References

Carney, Colleen E., et al. “Cognitive Behavioral Insomnia Therapy for Those with Insomnia and Depression: A Randomized Controlled Clinical Trial.” Sleep, vol. 40, no. 4, 2017, https://doi.org/10.1093/sleep/zsx019.

Cleveland Clinic. “Insomnia.” 2023, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/12119-insomnia.

Harvard Health Publishing. “Sleep and Mental Health: How They Affect Each Other.” Harvard Medical School, 2021, https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/sleep-and-mental-health.

Lau, Parky, et al. “Anxiolytic Impact of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia in Patients with Co-morbid Insomnia and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.” Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy 52.4 (2024): 456–460. Web. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/behavioural-and-cognitive-psychotherapy/article/anxiolytic-impact-of-cognitive-behavioural-therapy-for-insomnia-in-patients-with-comorbid-insomnia-and-generalized-anxiety-disorder/AEB8CFA7AC4CADCAB9C6D85C8718976F.

Mayo Clinic. “Insomnia: Causes.” 2024, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/insomnia/symptoms-causes/syc-20355167.

National Institutes of Health. “Insomnia: Overview.” MedlinePlus, https://medlineplus.gov/insomnia.html.

Peoples, Anita R et al. “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia Reduces Depression in Cancer Survivors.” Journal of clinical sleep medicine : JCSM : official publication of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine vol. 15,1 129-137. 15 Jan. 2019, doi:10.5664/jcsm.7586, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30621831/.

Schwartz, Danielle R., and Colleen E. Carney. “Mediators of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia: A Review of Randomized Controlled Trials and Secondary Analysis Studies.” Clinical Psychology Review, vol. 32, issue 7: 664-675, 2012, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735812000955.

Cora Taylor